Subtlety, Intimacy, Motivation IV

We can look at excluding potential in the individual and also interpersonally. Anyone who has looked into the face of hatred can recognize that hating is part of human potential but it may be potential we can live without cultivating. Of course, in order to limit it within our lives, we must recognize that it exists, recognize that there is someone somewhere who believes in hatred. While those folks may believe in hatred, I have yet to find someone who can wholeheartedly want to hate. We can all hate very passionately and convincingly, but it is hard to do wholeheartedly from the beginning to the end of one's life; hatred is a lot of work and so fighting hatred is a lot of work too. I'm not sure it works to fight hatred. This is where Trungpa's comments stand out to me as excellent. He said that anger without hatred is the energy for compassion. Wow, saying something like that takes guts, and living that comment after the Chinese have chased you out of Tibet takes A LOT of integrity. Because the Chinese army doesn't belong in Tibet or Taiwan any more than the Russians belong in the Ukraine, any more than any national army belongs in another nation (err, hum, clear of the throat). But we'll not forget Rwanda any time soon, and Darfur will continue to be a tragedy for a while, and we shouldn't forget appeasement of Nazi Germany and pre-WWII Japan--the Polish haven't, the Chinese haven't, Israelis haven't.

Does using these examples mean I've ignored the BBC's pictures of Iranians protesting an American military presence in the Middle East by comparing Bush to Hitler? No. It means something very clear to me. Progress eventually requires the critique of every single boundary. The political plan for this is simple, although implementing it is a question that will never be resolved. Boundaries in our minds usually take some effort to set up, and then it often takes more effort to change them. Metaphysically and politically, this characteristic can be challenged, criticized in ourselves and/or others, but there are the real-world anatomical processes to consider as unavoidable limits to the speed and nature of progress. We can increase the drama around this or we can look to move towards peace. Depending on what we are like and depending on our situations, we may be more motivated by individual concerns or by concerns for our loved ones. What I find fascinating in social change is just how often people look to prescribe solutions that are a one-shot deal. Just meditate, just be more socialist, just stimulate the economy, just get rid of the undesirables, etc. These are fascinating partially because they are unavoidable. Social progress is more complex than anyone can actually plan for, although anyone can prescribe social changes. If you're in the right position, it's possible to move the entire population of Chechnya or starve 30 million Chinese.

We can distinguish processes which can be planned for by calling them "design processes" and contrasting them to processes which cannot be predicted and controlled--"emergent processes". Because I live in a society with a fairly stable political system and reasonable systems of distribution (because I can count on those things most days), getting up and cooking my eggs for breakfast is a design process. There are others who are not so well off who cannot expect the luxuries I have, others for whom the availability of breakfast must be won each day. Feeding themselves day-to-day is more of an emergent process. Even though I can pretty much count on the local grocery, because of increased worldwide population density and technological advancement, employment is not so much a design process for me; it's more of a mixed process. I have to plan and do what I can, but things will be drastically different in many ways ten years from now. Even the US Post Office, once considered to be one of the most secure employers in the world, may not be around into my old age. Every boundary, every construction, will be changed and might as well be questioned and criticized.

But what do market influences on the US Postal Service have to do with love? Good question; I'm glad you brought it up. It's all connected. While the effects on my family of my uncle's position with the postal service are relevant, I'm going to exclude that topic from this discussion for the sake of brevity. As interesting as Tolkien's Ents are, I'm not one of them. Exclusion is good. The overall market influences on job opportunities and job security obviously have an influential impact on potential romantic interests, so I'll leave my uncle out of this one. But love and economics come together when we look at the motivations behind ethical economic decisions. Besides all the stuff Veblen pointed out about conspicuous consumption and all the ways that can affect "courting", if we assume for the moment (really stretch your imagination here) that I don't have the financial backing to consume very conspicuously, what are my motivations for making ethical--rather than primarily pragmatic/selfish--economic decisions. As Al Pacino in Scarface said, "First you get the money, then you get the power. Then you get the women." Many a poor Romeo is glad to be able to differ. Behind [with/within] every good man is a good woman. We are biologically set up to be good in some ways.

I know that being happy with my girl makes me happy. Treating her well, she treats me well. So far. Everything changes, but we're doing alright so far. She likes that I'm not an asshole--more often than not anyway. I used to have a hard time meditating around other people, but we've become kind of close. Having her around makes me happier AND more peaceful. It's taken some time and effort from both of us, but now, when she's not around, I can really feel that it takes will on my part to meditate. If I can't share the benefits, they don't seem as important. They seem disconnected, floating, metaphysical. When she's around, feeling more intimate with my life and the world is a physical thing, visceral, close. The emotions feed a different tone of meditation. Rather than leading away from problems and dissatisfaction, I can see how patience and equanimity help when we misunderstand each other. And the increased subtlety--in a healthy emotional context--helps me feel more open, responsive, and appreciative.