Impulse, Effort, Intention, Grace

I'm starting to study the Lamrim teachings on Abhidhamma as my next step towards unconstrained awareness. At this point, I'm finding a definite commonality between my own explorations and this Buddhist method of categorization and applications. At the same time, I'm not certain that insisting on the infallibility of Siddartha Gautama's pronouncements and dialogues is a necessary aspect of moving forward. In other words, there are probably some simpler ways of presenting the next step--or next few steps--for many of us (as opposed to in-depth, long-term Abhidhamma study). You can also look at what I'm circling as a way of redeeming/utilizing projection and identification.

Much of what I've been working on is simply a progression of perspectives. The question is: a progression towards what? A better experience of this lifetime. This goal can be seen as relative or small from a religious perspective, but it doesn't exclude religious perspective. One can include either the after-death progression of one's soul or non-self-self in determining how "better" could be defined and experienced.

Part of improving perspectives comes down to condensing information and also to presenting it in ways that are immediately applicable and fruitful. Here's the skinny. We can experience the desire(s) we experience as individuals as including a few different feelings. There is a continuum from nonconscious impulse (like instinct) to conscious effort (which is often tied up in personality disordering and negative habits/addictions) to intention (which can remain consistent even when our pushing/effortful energy wanes for a time) to something like grace (which can be seen as extending beyond individuality).

For anyone who does not simply want to fight against basic impulses and feelings, we can see a path from impulse of biological action potentials towards increasing consciousness and lack of constraints. One of the interesting things that happens when intention is included, though, is that we can feel frustration when we lack: the energy it takes to put in pushing/driven effort; achievement of the results we are looking for; consistency or clarity in intention; the smooth feeling of things working out "simply because".

An integrated perspective allows us to relate to impulse as the basic energy, effort as directing that basic energy, intention as potentially clearer and more consistent than effort (which will cycle with our need for food, sleep, etc.), and grace as a goal that may or may not end up as somewhat defined. These all web together (as something like sattva) if we can maintain that impulse, effort and intention may all lead towards grace while being willing to take care of--behaviorally attend to--whichever lower levels need attention. And it is possible to determine whichever levels need attention by simply moving downwards, checking each one as we go.

It works something like this. We never need to feel undirected because we can always affirm that, whatever more relative goals we may or may not hold, we are always looking for grace. We can always recognize that we may not find grace if we don't line up that intention to find grace (or whatever other intentions) with our ability to maintain effort in that direction. And we maintain effort through consisitency of intention and physical health (the wellness of neurology through psychology--crossover with stress, immune response, blood pressure, digestion, etc.).

The nice thing about this progression is that we don't have to believe that, "A tired man no longer cares." It takes less metabolic energy to maintain intention than it takes to maintain effort. The reality is that a tired man may no longer have the energy it takes to make the necessary efforts while he hasn't changed his intentions. Blaming oneself or others for unclear intentions, imperfect effort, or basic impulses keeps us from achieving grace. If we can maintain a consistent goal (grace), it is possible to change one's "local" intentions while retaining consistency. If we experience ourselves as moving towards grace, it is possible to dispense with the greater part of psychological wastes of energy such as blaming and excessive doubt.